5 Ways to build your charisma
What can you do to make people like you and become a natural leader? Charisma isn’t a gift from above that one either has or doesn’t have. The ability to be likable can be mastered, says Vanessa Edwards, founder of The Science of People, a laboratory investigating people's behavior. All you have to do is adopt five habits described below.
#1. Do not be afraid of showing you’re not perfect
Psychologist Richard Weismann conducted a study in which two actresses had to sell a blender to passers-by at a shopping center. The first presenter made an excellent speech and presented an impeccable cocktail for audience members. The other actress did the same, but she “accidentally” forgot to close the lid of the blender and let the contents splash on herself.
The "clunky" woman was seen by the customers as more relatable, so she sold more blenders. Weismann concluded that the actress who demonstrated vulnerability also showed that she was human the actress and boosted her influence over the audience. Accept your imperfections, because they make people like you more. Just be yourself.
#2. Talk less, listen more
To put it simply, you have two ears and one mouth, so use this “ratio” as a guide on how much you listen and speak. The simplest way to talk less and listen more is to keep clarifying things.
Try to find out more details about what your interlocutor does and thinks. This will help you better understand them and also create the sense of intimacy.
#3. Do not gossip
There is a scientific principle called spontaneous transfer of qualities. When you talk badly about someone, people associate that person's negative traits with you. Therefore, avoid saying that someone is close-minded or stupid if you do not want people to start having similar thoughts about you. This principle also works in reverse. Choose a person you admire and tell them how awesome they are. Do this when you introduce people to each other. This could simultaneously be helpful, since your friends may not want to boast about their achievements, but you can highlight them.
#4. Use gestures
Look at best TED talks, that is, the presenters. Most popular speakers employ non-verbal ways to convey information, primarily gestures. In the videos with highest numbers of views, the speakers gesticulated twice as actively as their less successful colleagues. Hands are perceived as an indicator of trust. Keep them in sight and reinforce your words with gestures.
#5. Establish eye contact
Studies show that people who look into the eyes of their companions establish a better connection with them. The eye contact is considered set if you are able to remember the other person’s eye color. So it's better not to be distracted by the phone and other things during the conversation.
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